Really...now I've seen it all. So, my sister Jeannie bought this really great curling iron on line and it turned out to be a buy one get one free deal, which we all know actually means "We are charging twice as much for this than it's worth, but by doing a BOGO deal we are technically selling twice as many at what should have been the real price all along".
It's one of those spinning barrel with bristles things and I was frankly a little nervous when she surprised me by presenting me with her "free" iron. I had a traumatic experience with an early version of a brush style curling iron back in the '80s. No one really wants to find themselves walking through the mall with a curling iron stuck in their hair. The original brush curling irons were all cleverly designed to permanently entangle themselves in your hair, all the way to the root, thereby necessitating a visit to a hair salon where a stylist would then have to spend 6 hours carefully extricating said iron from your hair just far enough to be able to cut it into a choppy 'shag' style in order to camoflauge the fact that she had to cut it to within 2 inches of your scalp in places. Few people realize that this is, in fact, the very reason 'The Shag' was invented. It is my belief that these bristly hair carnivores were invented by the cosmetology industry as a means of forcing women back into salons in the wake of a beauty recession brought on by deluded women thinking that they could just do their own hair and save a few bucks. Having said all that, I will concede that this particular 21st century spinny sort of curling iron is fabulous. I really like it and have found no cause to fear it...until now.
I was just in my dressing room, getting ready for the day, when I noticed a large white tag attached to the cord of my spinny iron. On this tag is a picture of the curling iron and a picture of an eye with long eyelashes. There is a cross through these two images and in large, dire letters is a warning that reads: "Caution: This product can burn eyes"....seriously?..Really???...someone needed to tell me this? It took my muddled brain a moment to realize that they were seriously warning me against trying to use this rather large barreled curling iron on my eyelashes...are you staying with me here? On the handy quick start guide, I am informed that on the lowest setting, my curling iron gets up to 285 degrees farenheit. At it's highest setting, 385 degrees. That my rotating curling iron company has deemed it necessary to put such a label on this product tells me that someone somewhere has actually attempted to use this for the purpose of curling their eyelashes...on their eyes...I weep for society. With all of the genetic research being done, rather than trying to create some super race, couldn't we just focus on bumping up the current populations IQ points a few notches? If we did, then the need for warnings like this could be avoided. So really, I just added this blog entry in the hopes that I can save someone, somewhere, from the heartache (and burns) attached to using curling irons on eye lashes. Please...fight the impulse for the good of society. The IQ you save may be your own.
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