I hate fish! Stupid conniving, slippery little back stabbers! I provide them with a lovely home and then they turn on me!
After six years, it appears that our pond is in need of some repairs. The water level is going down each day at an alarming rate and so we have reached out to our original landscapers to come in and do some work on it. Unfortunately, this requires the removal of the koi living in it. We had to wait as long as possible to remove the fish because it has been too cold. In case you didn't already know, you aren't supposed to disturb Koi when they are cold and in their winter stasis.
So as yesterday was finally blissfully warm, I donned the appropriate fish finding attire and ventured my way into the pond. yes, INTO the pond. I had only a smallish net, so standing on the bank was not an option. The first thing I noticed as I entered the pond was that while the ambient temperature was around 80, the water temperature most certainly was not. The chill of winter clung tenaciously to the water and bit at my thighs. It's a 2,500 gal pond so they had a lot of places to go. I was starting to feel pretty stupid for even imagining that I could possibly catch them with my little net.
In what I am now certain was a devious plan to boost my confidence, I managed to catch one fish very quickly. I decided I might actually be able to do this after all! I should mention that undisturbed, the water is crystal clear. You can easilissue to the very bottom, however, once I got into the pond and started walking around stirring things up it got very murky, very quickly. It became more and more difficult tos see the fish, especially at the speed they were darting about at. The pond was filled with an entire winters worth of dead leaves and rotted debris that had settled innocuously to the bottom but was now swirling around my calves. I couldn't see a thing. The fish, when I could catch a glimpse, had gone into hyper-drive and were nothing but little blurs of orange. I swung wildly back and forth in an attempt to net one. In addition, I noticed that as I stirred up the water the air filled with the fetid stench of a cesspool.
I don't know at what point they decided to turn on me. I suspect they found a rocky outcropping beneath the water to hold a strategy meeting and planned the whole thing. All I know is that there were no fish visible in the clouded water and then there was a big black and orange one directly in front of me. He swam back and forth at a leisurely pace right on the surface of the water as if to say "go ahead, I'm just dying to be caught". I focused all my efforts on keeping him in sight as I slowly, so as not to disturb him too soon, moved my net towards him. I positioned myself to make the catch. I'm quite certain that what happened next was executed perfectly, according to their diabolical plan. As I went to swing the net at the black and orange demon, one of the other fish rammed straight into the back of my knee startling me so badly that I lost my balance and landed on my butt on the silty bottom of the three and a half foot deep pond. Gales of laughter filled my ears and I looked up to see Derek standing at the patio door. soaking wet and miserable I gave up and pulled myself out of the water. Now I also smelled like a cesspool. rotting leaves clung to my clothes, They had outsmarted me. For now that is. Today I'm planning on going to the store to pick up a fishing pole and some bait. Then we'll see who outsmarts who.
