Another Thanksgiving day and, as always, I am in a reflective mood. What an amazing year it has been, full of triumphs, tragedies and failures and personally, I am grateful for them all. We saw the birthday of our third and fourth grandchildren. Actually, I literally saw the birth of our grandson. That was an amazing experience that I am grateful to have been a participant in. I will admit that having never seen a life birth from THAT side of the birthing bed, I was a little surprised that the nurses and midwives didn't look more panicked at C.J.'s appearance when he first popped out. I was fairly certain that Heather had given birth to a wad of used chewing gum, but after a few minutes he took on a much more baby like appearance and within the hour was completely adorable.
In August I took a leap of faith and quit my job with ConAgra to embrace our part time photography business full time at the risk of our financial security. In truth, chances were pretty good that my salary at ConAgra wasn't going to make or break us, but there was a very real possibility that I would have to cut back on shopping, decorating and pedicures and possibly even have to cut back to one color with no highlights on my hair. You have no idea how hard this is to admit because undoubtedly, you all thought that at 48 I still didn't have a single gray hair yet. I even magnanimously offered to stop getting my hair colored when I quit ConAgra, but after a couple of months, Derek ever so tactfully suggested that since I do a lot of senior portraits, it would be bad for my business image to have gray hair. I decided not to take it as an insult and just enjoy the fact that I had permission to keep getting it done.
This year we also enjoyed our children's many triumphs. Chi graduated the police academy and is now with the Omaha Police department. When I asked him if he enjoyed his new job he simply stated "Mom, they let me carry a gun...all the time". Apparently that says it all. Mark graduated from BYU-Idaho and even before graduation had three solid job offers. We were thrilled when he accepted a job with Lockheed in Colorado Springs as a software engineer, since it's a lot closer to us than Idaho Falls! We have watched Colt's present, start to gel and solidify into an exciting future. He and Michelle are getting married in February and Colt is going into the Army in communications in March.
While this isn't a particularly funny or witty post, I wanted to prove that I do have a serious side and put in writing my thoughts about the blessings in my life.
I am incredibly grateful for my family. What awesome children I have! I am grateful to see that each of them has become exactly what I have hoped for since they were born. Good people. Everything else is icing. They are loving, kind and caring people and have found wonderful spouses (and pre-spouses). I love seeing them interacting with their own families and developing these amazing lives of their own.
In addition to our amazing children, we now have four fabulous grandchildren. THIS is a fabulous thing! Our favorite hobby now is babysitting the grandchildren. The best part is hopping the kids up on sugar right before bedtime and then giving them back to their parents! I live for my phone chats with Eden and love hearing about Autumns daily antics.
Derek and I are embracing the freedom of having all of our kids grown and having more time to spend with each other. We are enjoying learning more about the people we have become 29 years after marrying. It is mind boggling to realize that we will have been married for 29 years in December. Marriage is it's very own adventure and what I've learned in all this time is to be grateful for each others qualities and to work through the hard times because, it's worth it in the end.
In August, I had my 48th birthday. (Let's face it. I have four grandchildren, there is absolutely no point lying about my age). As a birthday present, Derek rallied the troops and together they bought me glass blowing classes! This has become an exciting new hobby that I really love. To get the details on my adventures in glass blowing, you might want to read my early blogs;-).
So on a completely serious note, I will end this blog on a serious note by expressing my gratitude for the gospel. For the lessons we learn and for the patience and love that our Heavenly Father has for us. I am incredibly grateful for my family and for all the years that they have put up with me and loved me. In particular, I am thankful for Derek. For his love for me and his dedication to our marriage. I love him so. I am also very grateful for extended family and for friends. I have enjoyed reconnecting with lost family members on Facebook and have enjoyed the friendship of amazing people who support my choices and efforts. I hope you enjoyed this foray into sincerity and serious because it makes me feel all funny and will not be repeated very often.
Love to all of my friends and family and a Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Observations on stuff
I know I haven’t blogged in a while, things have been a little crazy, but I have some things to say.
In my recent day to day dealing I have noted some situations in the world around me that need fixing. The first is woman’s fashion. In Jurassic Park, Jeff Goldblum gives a great speech about how being ABLE to do something doesn’t mean that we SHOULD do it. I know he was referring to the genetic engineering of dinosaurs in the 20th century, but this is more important. I would like to relate this to women’s fashion and suggest that just because we CAN make spandex leggings in a size 28 doesn’t mean that we SHOULD make spandex leggings in a size 28. There are actually a lot of sizes that they shouldn’t make leggings in, as well as a lot of other clothing. This was brought home to me with nauseating clarity while shopping for clothes a few weeks ago, when a woman came into the store wearing bright yellow leggings (in at least a size 28, maybe more) with what looked to be a size 6 CROP TOP. There should be laws! Not only could you see every seam of her underwear, you could determine the exact weave and thread count. You could also determine the depth of the divots in her cellulite. This is wrong. It’s a travesty against God and the Universe. To add insult to injury, her crop top was ludicrously tight with a plunging neckline that threatened to suck you into a dark and scary abyss too terrifying to contemplate. Her massive breasts teetered precariously over the top of her shirt and though I hesitate to traumatize readers by admitting it, also seemed in danger of oozing out the bottom of her shirt. I looked at her and wondered does she not have a mirror? Should someone buy her one? I would like to suggest that there be laws of fashion governing this. Maybe a law that states leggings can only be worn by 18 year old women who are a size four or less, because frankly leggings are something that very few women should wear. I’m sorry. I know this is harsh and I will freely and honestly confess my own hypocrisy and admit that I do indeed own a pair of leggings, but rest assured that they are worn only for exercise and even then only in the privacy of my own home, under a baggy t-shirt that goes to my knees and only in the dark. I take these precautions so that no one is in danger of the psychological scarring that I endured upon seeing that woman in the clothing store. Ladies! Have a little dignity! And to the fashion industry I would add the plea to refrain from allowing us to indulge in these fashion faux paux by ceasing to manufacture psychologically damaging clothing. We will be a better and happier society for it.
Now on to my next issue. Cell phones. My friend, Jess, and I recently attended a conference with a company that we buy our skin care products from. We had both signed up to be “consultants” for the company and were promised $150 worth of products if we attended their all day seminar. Okay, the truth is we have no intention of being consultants, but if you sign up, in addition to the ‘gift’ for attending, you get to buy all of your own products at 50% off. Guaranteed, I will be my own best customer. We did discover that “spa” is now apparently a verb. Women there said things like “I spa’d my husband the other night”. Kinky. And somehow infinitely more disturbing when she would add that she has also spa’d her mother-in-law the next day. Truth be told though, I love to “spa”. It’s decadent. You can just lose yourself in the creams and scrubs and soaps. It’s very addictive, but I digress…again…You may be wondering what all of this has to do with cell phones. I’ll tell you. There was a young woman there who was obviously never told that there are rules of etiquette that come with a cell phone. Can you say vibrate? Or better yet, here’s a thought. Maybe there isn’t really anything so urgent that we can’t just turn our cell phones off for half an hour. I know…shocking.
So not only is this woman’s phone NOT on vibrate, she has it turned up full blast. Every twenty minutes or so it would start ringing and the woman, in an obvious attempt to incite a riot, would wait until the third or fourth ring to respond. It wasn’t even a voice call, just a notification that she had received yet another text. To add insult to injury her texting was set to sound. Every letter of every text heralded another annoying little beep. There she would sit, ignoring the glares of 30 ticked off women…beep beep beep beep beep beep…beep beep…beep beep beep. Like morse code. I’m A.D.D. Ignoring the incessant beeping was impossible. I started fantasizing about diabolical and horrific ways to retaliate for the psychological torment she was inflicting. I don’t want to offend anyone, but unless you are a doctor (on call) or possibly a nuclear physicist who unbeknownst to the rest of the world has inside knowledge that there is a meteor headed straight for earth and will incinerate the planet in 30 minutes unless you can come up with a solution immediately, you are probably not important enough to need to be in constant contact twenty four hours a day. If it is not possible to be away from your children, boyfriend, husband or office for an hour without texting them, then you probably shouldn’t have left in the first place. Another little revelation for you cell phone addicts? Yes, everyone in the theater CAN see your glaring little three inch screen in the dark. And it’s annoying! Sigh…thank you. I needed to get that off my chest. Oh wait…BRB…my BFF just texted.
In my recent day to day dealing I have noted some situations in the world around me that need fixing. The first is woman’s fashion. In Jurassic Park, Jeff Goldblum gives a great speech about how being ABLE to do something doesn’t mean that we SHOULD do it. I know he was referring to the genetic engineering of dinosaurs in the 20th century, but this is more important. I would like to relate this to women’s fashion and suggest that just because we CAN make spandex leggings in a size 28 doesn’t mean that we SHOULD make spandex leggings in a size 28. There are actually a lot of sizes that they shouldn’t make leggings in, as well as a lot of other clothing. This was brought home to me with nauseating clarity while shopping for clothes a few weeks ago, when a woman came into the store wearing bright yellow leggings (in at least a size 28, maybe more) with what looked to be a size 6 CROP TOP. There should be laws! Not only could you see every seam of her underwear, you could determine the exact weave and thread count. You could also determine the depth of the divots in her cellulite. This is wrong. It’s a travesty against God and the Universe. To add insult to injury, her crop top was ludicrously tight with a plunging neckline that threatened to suck you into a dark and scary abyss too terrifying to contemplate. Her massive breasts teetered precariously over the top of her shirt and though I hesitate to traumatize readers by admitting it, also seemed in danger of oozing out the bottom of her shirt. I looked at her and wondered does she not have a mirror? Should someone buy her one? I would like to suggest that there be laws of fashion governing this. Maybe a law that states leggings can only be worn by 18 year old women who are a size four or less, because frankly leggings are something that very few women should wear. I’m sorry. I know this is harsh and I will freely and honestly confess my own hypocrisy and admit that I do indeed own a pair of leggings, but rest assured that they are worn only for exercise and even then only in the privacy of my own home, under a baggy t-shirt that goes to my knees and only in the dark. I take these precautions so that no one is in danger of the psychological scarring that I endured upon seeing that woman in the clothing store. Ladies! Have a little dignity! And to the fashion industry I would add the plea to refrain from allowing us to indulge in these fashion faux paux by ceasing to manufacture psychologically damaging clothing. We will be a better and happier society for it.
Now on to my next issue. Cell phones. My friend, Jess, and I recently attended a conference with a company that we buy our skin care products from. We had both signed up to be “consultants” for the company and were promised $150 worth of products if we attended their all day seminar. Okay, the truth is we have no intention of being consultants, but if you sign up, in addition to the ‘gift’ for attending, you get to buy all of your own products at 50% off. Guaranteed, I will be my own best customer. We did discover that “spa” is now apparently a verb. Women there said things like “I spa’d my husband the other night”. Kinky. And somehow infinitely more disturbing when she would add that she has also spa’d her mother-in-law the next day. Truth be told though, I love to “spa”. It’s decadent. You can just lose yourself in the creams and scrubs and soaps. It’s very addictive, but I digress…again…You may be wondering what all of this has to do with cell phones. I’ll tell you. There was a young woman there who was obviously never told that there are rules of etiquette that come with a cell phone. Can you say vibrate? Or better yet, here’s a thought. Maybe there isn’t really anything so urgent that we can’t just turn our cell phones off for half an hour. I know…shocking.
So not only is this woman’s phone NOT on vibrate, she has it turned up full blast. Every twenty minutes or so it would start ringing and the woman, in an obvious attempt to incite a riot, would wait until the third or fourth ring to respond. It wasn’t even a voice call, just a notification that she had received yet another text. To add insult to injury her texting was set to sound. Every letter of every text heralded another annoying little beep. There she would sit, ignoring the glares of 30 ticked off women…beep beep beep beep beep beep…beep beep…beep beep beep. Like morse code. I’m A.D.D. Ignoring the incessant beeping was impossible. I started fantasizing about diabolical and horrific ways to retaliate for the psychological torment she was inflicting. I don’t want to offend anyone, but unless you are a doctor (on call) or possibly a nuclear physicist who unbeknownst to the rest of the world has inside knowledge that there is a meteor headed straight for earth and will incinerate the planet in 30 minutes unless you can come up with a solution immediately, you are probably not important enough to need to be in constant contact twenty four hours a day. If it is not possible to be away from your children, boyfriend, husband or office for an hour without texting them, then you probably shouldn’t have left in the first place. Another little revelation for you cell phone addicts? Yes, everyone in the theater CAN see your glaring little three inch screen in the dark. And it’s annoying! Sigh…thank you. I needed to get that off my chest. Oh wait…BRB…my BFF just texted.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Now multiply the length by the width and divide by infinity...
I have a headache. It is not a health induced headache. Nor is it in any way physiological, or neurological. It is an HGTV headache. For those lay people who are not decorating enthusiasts, I am referring to Home & Garden Television. I watch their station with a nearly religious zeal. I do this because of a condition I have which has been diagnosed by my husband as O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Decorating). He swears that if we are in a hotel room for longer than 24 hours, I will decorate it. Is it so wrong to want to add some fresh flowers to a room?? I would refute his allegations, but the evidence is in the paint. We have owned our current house for 8 years and I have painted and redecorated the dining room six times. The downstairs bathroom has been redone 4 times and three out of four of the upstairs bedrooms have been repainted at least 3-4 times. Oh, and the family room has been redone five times. I have redone the kitchen cabinets twice. Once, when Derek was away in Japan, I decided to paint our bedroom…in the middle of the night. Thank heaven for 24 hour Wal-marts. You get the gist.
Now, I can’t blame any of the HGTV television shows directly, but I do feel that they deliberately led me to my current plight. The thing is, I keep watching these shows where some trendy designer checks out some poor schmucks real estate nightmare and then comes back two days later, whips out a laptop and procedes to show the home owner a fabulous new, Technicolor, 3D…practically holographic depiction of the perfect solution to all of their décor woes. With the slightest click of the mouse, the walls change color, other walls dissolve to unveil a brand new dining room and floor coloring changes with digital flourish.
My O.C.D. little brain went into overdrive the first time I saw this wondrous marvel of decorating technology. I wanted that! I could feel the décor lust kick in. Since that first tease, I have poured hungrily over programs that promised the same miracles for at least two years.
As spring hit this year, my brain only had room for the yard. For months I have decorated the yard, weeded the yard, entertained in the yard and relaxed in the yard. Like a kitten who has had way too much attention paid to it by a 3 year old tormentor, you could almost feel the house breathe a sigh of relief at my obvious distraction, but we have recently been hit by an early fall and as the temperature dropped, my thoughts have turned back to the interior and all of the things I have neglected. After a three day HGTV/DIY binge, I lost my battle with reason.
I was at Office Max having some senior portrait proof magazines bound when I saw it, a beautiful box boasting a glossy photo of a stunning home promised me that if I had their software, I could transform my living space. Deep in my soul I knew that if I just had that software, I could make my home look like the one on the cover. My daughter had mentioned that her husband bought her a home decorating program for her birthday. If she could do it, I knew I could too! I should have remembered that her husband is a software engineer.
I knew the box felt too heavy when I picked it up and cradled it close to my heart, giddy with anticipation, but I was in deep denial and didn’t question it’s heft. I took it home and eagerly slit through the clear seal spanning the opening to the box.
It is my belief that not mentioning that this software comes with a SEVEN HUNDRED page manual is a gross oversight on the part of HGTV and their software developers. This is a highly relevant piece of information that could have significantly impacted my decision regarding this particular purchase.
Taking a deep, bracing breath, I decided that as a computer literate, tech savvy women, I would not be daunted by this minor setback, and setting the monstrous manual aside I confidently installed the software and opened up the design program, eager to begin creating my new and undoubtedly fabulous 1920's inspired, art deco library. After wading through their “House Design Wizard” and lying through my teeth about dimensions and roof type and basement wall depth and so on, my first design screen popped up. It looked nothing like my house. In fact it was just a big, square, white, wasteland. I felt my optimism start to plummet. Steeling my resolve, I opened the manual.
I would like to suggest to HGTV that in addition to mentioning the 700 page manual on the front of the box, they should also put, in a large, highlighted box…in bold type…that in order to use this software, they would advise first securing an advanced degree…preferably a doctorate...in architectural engineering. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!? There are 58 chapters, all pointing out in graphic detail, that I am completely inadequate in every conceivable way to the task of designing a room with their software! Who knew Tolstoy wrote tech manuals! I am not averse to the idea of going back to college, but I didn’t really want to have to do it simply to be able to use a bit of decorating software. And in case you are thinking "oh, well it's probably only a hundred pages long and in 7 different languages", you are mistaken. Every word on every page is in English. Completely unintelligible English, but English none-the-less.
After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it will be significantly cheaper to hire a professional designer to bring their laptop to my house and show me THEIR beautiful 3D designs than it will be to pay 8-9 years of tuition to get my doctorate. Because I am a stubborn woman, I will take a crack at using this software, but don’t be surprised if my house ends up looking like a Salvador Dali painting.
Now, I can’t blame any of the HGTV television shows directly, but I do feel that they deliberately led me to my current plight. The thing is, I keep watching these shows where some trendy designer checks out some poor schmucks real estate nightmare and then comes back two days later, whips out a laptop and procedes to show the home owner a fabulous new, Technicolor, 3D…practically holographic depiction of the perfect solution to all of their décor woes. With the slightest click of the mouse, the walls change color, other walls dissolve to unveil a brand new dining room and floor coloring changes with digital flourish.
My O.C.D. little brain went into overdrive the first time I saw this wondrous marvel of decorating technology. I wanted that! I could feel the décor lust kick in. Since that first tease, I have poured hungrily over programs that promised the same miracles for at least two years.
As spring hit this year, my brain only had room for the yard. For months I have decorated the yard, weeded the yard, entertained in the yard and relaxed in the yard. Like a kitten who has had way too much attention paid to it by a 3 year old tormentor, you could almost feel the house breathe a sigh of relief at my obvious distraction, but we have recently been hit by an early fall and as the temperature dropped, my thoughts have turned back to the interior and all of the things I have neglected. After a three day HGTV/DIY binge, I lost my battle with reason.
I was at Office Max having some senior portrait proof magazines bound when I saw it, a beautiful box boasting a glossy photo of a stunning home promised me that if I had their software, I could transform my living space. Deep in my soul I knew that if I just had that software, I could make my home look like the one on the cover. My daughter had mentioned that her husband bought her a home decorating program for her birthday. If she could do it, I knew I could too! I should have remembered that her husband is a software engineer.
I knew the box felt too heavy when I picked it up and cradled it close to my heart, giddy with anticipation, but I was in deep denial and didn’t question it’s heft. I took it home and eagerly slit through the clear seal spanning the opening to the box.
It is my belief that not mentioning that this software comes with a SEVEN HUNDRED page manual is a gross oversight on the part of HGTV and their software developers. This is a highly relevant piece of information that could have significantly impacted my decision regarding this particular purchase.
Taking a deep, bracing breath, I decided that as a computer literate, tech savvy women, I would not be daunted by this minor setback, and setting the monstrous manual aside I confidently installed the software and opened up the design program, eager to begin creating my new and undoubtedly fabulous 1920's inspired, art deco library. After wading through their “House Design Wizard” and lying through my teeth about dimensions and roof type and basement wall depth and so on, my first design screen popped up. It looked nothing like my house. In fact it was just a big, square, white, wasteland. I felt my optimism start to plummet. Steeling my resolve, I opened the manual.
I would like to suggest to HGTV that in addition to mentioning the 700 page manual on the front of the box, they should also put, in a large, highlighted box…in bold type…that in order to use this software, they would advise first securing an advanced degree…preferably a doctorate...in architectural engineering. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!? There are 58 chapters, all pointing out in graphic detail, that I am completely inadequate in every conceivable way to the task of designing a room with their software! Who knew Tolstoy wrote tech manuals! I am not averse to the idea of going back to college, but I didn’t really want to have to do it simply to be able to use a bit of decorating software. And in case you are thinking "oh, well it's probably only a hundred pages long and in 7 different languages", you are mistaken. Every word on every page is in English. Completely unintelligible English, but English none-the-less.
After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it will be significantly cheaper to hire a professional designer to bring their laptop to my house and show me THEIR beautiful 3D designs than it will be to pay 8-9 years of tuition to get my doctorate. Because I am a stubborn woman, I will take a crack at using this software, but don’t be surprised if my house ends up looking like a Salvador Dali painting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)